But while a broad network gives you exposure, it rarely gives you the depth you need for real, messy, human growth.
This article isn't about downplaying the value of your connections; it's about adding an important layer: Building a Personal Board of Directors. Think of it as your professional inner circle, the people you can call when you're actually having a work crisis at 10 PM on a Tuesday.
A Bit of Philosophy
Before we get practical, I'll take a step back and get a bit philosophical. Two thinkers have shaped how I view connection and why it matters so much in a career context.
Alfred Adler & Gemeinschaftsgefühl: Adler, a contemporary of Freud, believed our primary drive isn't "ego," but a need for Gemeinschaftsgefühl, often translated as "community feeling." He believed humans have an innate drive to connect, cooperate, and contribute to a specific group. In his view, psychological health is closely linked to this sense of belonging and social responsibility. If you want an accessible introduction to this, I recommend The Courage to Be Disliked.
Rutger Bregman & "Survival of the Friendliest": In Humankind, Bregman argues that modern humans didn't "win" because we were the toughest or the smartest, but because we got unusually good at living and working together. Friendlier groups formed larger coalitions, collaborated more effectively, and built richer cultures. This wasn't about being "nice" to everyone; it was the ability to form deep, trusting bonds within a group that became the real evolutionary advantage.
Of course, humans are not angels. Just five minutes of reading the news confirms that. But the point is that cooperation is part of our default wiring and what will make us happier and more successful.
Lesson 1 from the World of Sports: Don't Train Alone
Even in individual sports like swimming or distance running, athletes usually train in a group. Coaches set the strategy, organise, and keep track of the progress, but the team is there to make sure you actually show up on the days when the sky is grey and your motivation is nowhere to be found.
Your broad network is great for exposure. It helps you discover opportunities and meet people across industries. But it rarely provides the kind of trust where you can say, "I messed this up," or "I have no idea what the right move is." That is where your Personal Board of Directors becomes your secret weapon.
How to Build Your Personal Board
In practice, the sweet spot is three to six people. Big enough for diverse perspectives, small enough for real connection.
1. Start with "The Respect List"
Who do you already admire? Who challenges your thinking? Reach out to a few people you trust and share this idea. You can even simply send them this article directly. If your current circle feels small, look for chemistry at smaller workshops or niche community events rather than massive 200-person mixers where everyone is looking over your shoulder for someone "more important."
2. Meet Regularly
Consistency beats intensity every time. Aim for bi-weekly or monthly and meet in person if possible. There's a specific kind of trust that builds over a shared meal or a walk in the park that is much harder to achieve over a Zoom call. Pro tip: Rotate who "hosts" or chooses the location to keep the hierarchy flat and the energy fresh.
3. A Lightweight Template
Don't turn this into another heavy work meeting. Keep the work focused and talk for around 60 minutes. This is a template suggestion to help you get started, but feel free to adapt so that it feels right for you!
- 5 min: The Vibe Check. One sentence each: What's your current energy level and what's top of mind?
- 10 min: The Win. Share one win since last time. Small wins count, progress is the point.
- 25 min: The Main Focus. Discuss specific challenges. Format: 60 seconds of context → Questions from the group → Suggestions. Aim to end with concrete next steps.
- 10 min: Commitments. Each person states one specific goal for the next two weeks.
- 2 min: Close. Make sure to set the next date before ending the session.
4. Foster Radical Candor
Comfort is the enemy of growth. As Kim Scott writes in Radical Candor, you need people who care about you personally but are willing to challenge you directly.
My swim coach used to tell me: "I'm telling you where you need to improve because I believe in you. If I only tell you what you're doing well, you'll never hit your targets." Your Board should be the people who are willing to challenge you, kindly but clearly.
5. Compete with Yourself, Not Each Other
This is your team. When someone on your Board hits a goal or gets a new opportunity, take the time to celebrate it as a collective win. You aren't competing with them, you're each competing with the person you were yesterday.
Navigating career growth in the AI era is lonely if you do it solo. If you want more resources for navigating professional growth in tech, sign up for the Orintis newsletter:
More in This Series
- What Olympians Can Teach You About Career Progression (No, it's not just "Hustle Harder")
- Links to future articles in this series will be added here as they are published.